Interview 118 Transcript

              Irak
Abstract Interview 118
Participant is currently in the Army. He has been deployed four times beginning in 2001: Afghanistan,
Iraq, Afghanistan (twice). At the time of the interview he had been married 9 years and had two
daughters, ages 3 and 4.
The first two deployments were a year each. The second two were about 15 months each and the timeline
was more open ended, which made it more difficult. Noted the hardest time for homesickness was around
3-4 months, when you're settled in and you realize you won't be home for a long time. It helps to take
mid-tour leave at month 9-10 since the time left when you return to deployment is shorter. Coming back
from mid-tour leave is very tough.
Both of his daughters were born a month before deployment and each daughter was over a year old when
he returned. His older daughter was born shortly before third deployment (05-06). His older daughter
rejected him when he returned. It took six months to establish a good relationship with her. This
experience was very difficult. Noted it's harder to leave with young children at home. He felt like he had
just gotten to know his first daughter when deployed for the fourth time.
During his last deployment, his younger daughter had just arrived. His older daughter was dealing with a
new sibling and with him leaving again. She would cry on the phone for him to come home. Again, this
was very painful. After mid-tour leave she waited by the door for three days wailing for him to return.
When he did return at end of deployment, she was very angry and rejected him again. This time it took a
month to work through it. When he would leave for work, stateside, she'd hang on him, crying and then
yell "I hate you." During last deployment he was afraid to come home because of dealing with his
daughter's rejection again. Very eloquent on the price that wives and children pay in the military.
During the first deployment communication was very difficult. Now, weekly webcasts help, but the
technology doesn't always work. Keeps very busy on deployments. If he thought about home it became
very overwhelming and depressive, but he feels family left behind have it tougher.
At homecoming he hugs his wife and kids and has a beer. Having a beer makes it seem like home since
alcohol is not allowed on deployment. Homecomings are quiet. He won't talk to extended family for the
first month other than to tell mom he's returned. He wants to focus on family. Noted it's challenging to
learn the home routine. Your wife has been running the show and you both have to adapt.
Noted it's hard to relate to civilian population. Can't relate to former civilian friends any more since
they're very different. Military families are mission focused and live in tight-knit groups. It's a very
different way of living than how civilians live.
Now very focused on wife and girls. Learn to live life day-to-day because you don't know what's coming.
Focused on making memories with his daughters because he doesn't know when he'll have to leave
again.
Taken advantage of FTSD counseling from the VA a few time. Very eloquent on how military culture
regarding psychological counseling has changed over time. The officers support getting help now, which
is new. Thinks some of the changes are because of what happened to the Vietnam vets. Feels the VA is
doing a good job helping vets.
Keywords: Army; multiple deployments; PTSD; married; young children; rejection by child; grief; cost of
war to family
Interview 118 1